He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she peed on how many people?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
