what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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