why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
