i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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