so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Randomize
