I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize