if only i could text you this smell
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
