scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he laminated a picture of his dick.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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