It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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