ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just had sex on a roof
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
