you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
