We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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