I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
