he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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