she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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