I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
