she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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