Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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