ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and she was petting her beer can
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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