You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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