Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
