yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
