are you still at the devil's house?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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