This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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