Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize