I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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