we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
