her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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