True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
