Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
