Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I just shit out all my problems.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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