Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize