Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
