I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
