Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
