Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
