I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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