So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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