He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
