Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
