Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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