Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
