Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can't put those talents on a resume
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
