I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
