I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
