Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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