i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize