So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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