Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
