I feel like abortions should bother me more
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
