real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
