Can i not drive my cunt home
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize