i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You were trust falling into bushes
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