Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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