Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
