I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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