she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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