Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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