Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
