i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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