Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
