Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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