I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
