It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
